Cat Heaven’s not all it’s cracked up to be. Certainly, the human staff here are more intelligent and attentive than in the Lower Dimension but the food could do with some attention. I’m not even sure the salmon is technically organic. Let alone wild. Call me sensitive but I can smell farmed fish a mile off.
The mice are entertaining, though. They’ve been scattered thoughtfully around the place for anyone who’s in the mood for a chase. And I was delighted to discover a few white fluffy dogs have been thrown in for those of us with more adventurous tastes. Myself included. I could never abide their yapping. The way they suck up to humans is intolerable. All that sitting around simpering on people’s laps does nothing for their fitness either. And they’re such cowards .Nothing matches the thrill of pursuing a gasping Maltese or Highland Terrier down a footpath and getting within an inch of sinking claws into the plump backside before it disappears terrified under a fence.
Getting here was pleasant enough. One moment I was lying on the vet’s table. He stuck a thorn in my paw and droned on about it being the best thing for me considering I was about 160 years old in human years but what would he know? Vets are slow witted as a breed and far too eager to shove thermometres up places they should never go.
Anyway I was intrigued when a gold blanket appeared from nowhere and started shimmering above me. It hovered a while before it dropped and wrapped itself lovingly around my body. There was no time to take a closer look at the pet food advertisements and life expectancy chart for cats the vet had stuck to his wall. The blanket floated me away. I hadn’t felt so warm and comfortable since I was a kitten when my beloved Rob used to let me snuggle between his sheets into that cosy though somewhat smelly spot between his feet.
Next thing I knew I was standing in front of some kind of gleaming cat door guarded by a long haired Persian. He eyeballed me in a way that can only be described as judgemental. Honestly, talk about attitude. Pedigrees still get the best jobs, even in Cat Heaven. Which is something else I intend to lodge a formal complaint about. I made up my mind not to tell Persian boss boy a thing. Why should I have to justify nearly 24 years of ministry in the Lower Dimension?
.
![]() | You are viewing Log in Create a LiveJournal Account Learn more | Explore LJ: Life Entertainment Music Culture News & Politics Technology |